When a car skidded on wet pavement and struck a telephone pole, several bystanders ran over to help the driver. A woman was the first to reach the victim, but a man rushed in and pushed her back. “Step aside, lady,” he barked. “I’ve taken a course in first aid.” The woman watched him for a few minutes, then tapped his shoulder. “Pardon me,” she said. “But when you get to the part about calling a doctor, I’m right here.”

Doctor Doctor I feel like a racehorse.
Take one of these every 4 laps!

The patient shook his doctor’s hand in gratitude and said, “Since we are the best of friends, I would not want to insult you by offering payment. But I would like for you to know that I had mentioned you in my will.””That is very kind of you,” said the doctor emotionally, and then added, “May I see that prescription I just gave you? I’d like to make a little change…”

Q: Why do blonde nurses bring red magic markers to work?
A: In case they have to draw blood.

In a fancy Paris restaurant, there is a magical wish-granting mirror. But it only grants wishes if you tell the truth — if you lie, you disappear. One day, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead enter the restaurant and decide to try out the mirror. The brunette goes first. “I think I’m the smartest woman on earth.” “POOF!” She disappears. The redhead goes up to try. p> “I think I’m the prettiest woman on earth.” “POOF!” She disappears. The blonde goes up. “I think–” “POOF!”

A friend meets up with her friend as she is picking her car up from the mechanic. Her friend asks, “Everything ok with your car now?”The blonde replies, “Yes, thank goodness. I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off, so I was relieved when he told me all I needed was blinker fluid.”

An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a "Curse" he has been living with for the last 40 years.

The Wizard says "maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you."

The old man answers: "I now pronounce you man and wife".